P.M.S.

©1999 by James A. Fowler. All rights reserved.

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The illustrator of these parodies is Aaron Eskridge.
For contact and information about Aaron: Illustrator's Page


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   Watch out! Stand clear! Give her a wide berth! She has all the symptoms of the classic diagnosis of P.M.S. She is irritable, disagreeable and hostile. She wants her own way and cannot be appeased. She is constantly ranting and raving, screaming:

 "No one understands me."

"Leave me alone."

"Don't you dare cross me."

"I know I am right...

...don't buck me."

...don't confront me."

...don't question me."

...don't analyze me."

"I don't care if I don't make sense."

"I don't care if I'm not logical."

"I know I am emotional, subjective and my feelings are running wild."

"The present is unbearable, but this time will soon pass. It must be endured. Relief from this present tribulation is assuredly imminent."

"I'm just waiting for that future period when everything will come to pass."
 

 

    Does this sound familiar?

   Much of the church today seems to be afflicted and plagued by religious P.M.S. The complete, technical diagnosis is "Pre-Millennial Syndrome."

   This condition is characterized by a sense of hopelessness that everything is "out of kilter" and cannot be resolved until the future sanitizing of a utopian "period." Such a millennial menstruation is imminent, but in the meantime the malady must be endured.

   What is the cure for this debilitating disease?

   Theological practitioners must accept responsibility for misdiagnosis and perpetuating the discriminatory fallacy of this collective theological neurosis. The church must forsake the hormonally induced narcissism and neurosis of the "Pre-Millennial Syndrome," and recognize that her present health and well-being is assured by the "finished work" of Christ (John 19:30).