1999 James A. Fowler
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I. Representative Scripture references about "parenting"
Deut. 21:18-21 - "stubborn and
rebellious sons...should be stoned to death"
Ps. 127:1-5 - "children are a gift
of the Lord..."
Prov. 10:1 - "a wise son makes a
father glad; a foolish son is a grief to his mother"
Prov. 13:18 - "poverty and shame
will come to him who neglects discipline"
Prov. 15:5 - "a fool rejects his
Prov. 17:6 - "the glory of sons
is their fathers"
Prov. 19:18 - "discipline your son
while there is hope, and do not desire his death"
Prov. 22:6 - "train up a child in
the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from
Prov. 22:15 - "foolishness is bound
up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove
Prov. 23:13,14 - "do not hold back
discipline from the child. Although you smite him with the
he will not die..."
Prov. 29:15 - "the rod and reproof
give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame
Eph. 6:4 - "fathers, do not provoke
your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and
of the Lord."
Col. 3:21 - "fathers, do not exasperate
your children, that they may not lose heart"
I Tim. 3:4 - "an elder must be one
who manages his own household well, keeping his children under
control with all dignity"
Titus 1:6 - "elders...having children
who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion"
Heb. 12:5-11 - "what son is there
that the father does not discipline?"
II. Re-examining Proverbs 22:6
A. Traditional interpretations
up..." - training techniques
way he should go" - child's particular "bent"
not depart from it" - never rebel, defect
B. Original Hebrew words
- inaugurate, initiate, begin, start off
- mouth, opening, entrance
- road, way, journey, course
- to have a beard, grows up
- depart, turn aside, be deprived, lack
C. "Start off a child in the opening
of the course of life, and when he grows up he will not lack
III. What a parent can and cannot do for a child.
A. A parent cannot...
convert, regenerate, or save a child.
a child; make them holy or righteous
a Christian disciple out of a child
determine or develop the personality of a child
B. A parent can...
them off on the course of life with direction
the grace of God to function in them as parents. Jn. 15:5; II
Cor. 3:5; 12:9
the grace-dynamic of God to function in the children
IV. What children are and are not.
A. Children are not...
progeny, to carry on the family name
- they belong to God.
- to accomplish before God.
of the parents - projected expectations
or status symbols to build parents reputation
peons, or petty servants to do the parents whims
B. Children are...
of the Lord - Ps. 127:3
2. a priority
responsibility of parents
for personal development in parents
unselfishness - I Tim. 2;15
deference - Eph. 5:21
love - Titus 2:4
V. What a child needs and does not need.
A. A child does not need...
1. a parent
that tries to "play God"
2. an authoritative
law-enforcement officer as parent
given to him
4. to be
over-protected or smothered
5. to be
given absolute freedom - permissiveness
6. to be
allowed to control the family
B. A child needs...
1. a parental
to love, nurture and give direction
to meet personal development needs
2. a relational
parent - who relates personally and individually
appreciates their feelings
accepts their individuality and differences
allows them to think and feel
3. an exemplary
parent - models consistency and honesty
4. an encouraging
parent - supportive, "on their team"
5. a loving
6. a forgiving
VI. A Christocentric approach to parenting.
A. Misemphasis of "focusing on
approaches to family and parenting
techniques, precepts, principles
orientation to parenting
B. Emphasis of focusing on Jesus - Heb.
12:2 - "fixing our eyes on Jesus"
Jesus to function in the family
life of Jesus to be lived out in the parent
and liberty in Christian parenting
Don't have to be so uptight about doing it right.
Lighten up; relax; enjoy your children
with the "mind of Christ" - I Cor. 2:16
"listen under" God in obedience
trust that what comes to mind is right
"Right" is the character of God expressed in you; not
particular procedures and techniques
back and say, "To God be the glory, great things He has